Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Headlines: Tiger Runs Amuck: Gobbles Patrons

Apparently Christmas was a tough time of year for 4-year old Tatiana, a Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo. Last year around this time, driven by her seasonal desire to practice the tiger family tradition of eating people for Christmas, Tatiana took a bite out of a zoo keeper. That was just an appetizer for this year though. Last night, Tatiana stole the keys to her enclosure and made a break for it.

At approximately 5pm Pacific Time, after the zoo was closed but before everyone had left, the 300-pound tiger escaped and attacked three people. The first one was too hot, the second one was too cold, and the third one was just right but police shot her to death before she could properly enjoy her holiday feast.

There is some speculation as to whether Tatiana was provoked into attacking the three men, two of whom were brothers but so far, no one is talking. The truth of the matter is, “the tiger was acting as a normal tiger does”, said Manual Mollinedo, the zoo director. After all, how would you feel if you were locked in a cage on Christmas while loads of hams, turkeys and bowls of figgy-pudding paraded themselves outside of your enclosure? There is just something about the holidays which inspires people, and apparently tigers, to practice their family food traditions.

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